In a Nutshell

welcome back, me! i have successfully managed to post absolutely nothing during 2009. this is largely because of my other blog - the one that tyson so faithfully updates for us shelleys. and, may i add, does so wonderfully.

you may or may not know this about me, but a dream of mine is to write children's books (i've already posted a little story on here that you may have seen. this next story is from the same time as the last one, and in my opinion, is much more entertaining. now i need illustrations. if you are interested, or know anyone who would be, i would like watercolor-ish pictures, please.

There’s a Saber Tooth in my Classroom
Brett E. Shelley

There’s a Saber Tooth in my classroom!
I found that out one day
Everyone went home at three –
My teacher made me stay.

“Your homework must be finished,
And erase the chalkboard, too!
Then sharpen all the pencils,
And sort through all the glue.

The crayons organized by color,
The chairs stacked in a line,
I’ll be back in one hour,
Have it finished by that time!”

She left me there all by myself
A lazy second grader,
With glue, crayons, my homework too,
Expecting me to obey her.

“This will not be so bad,” I thought,
While munching on a cracker.
My teacher’s gone, there’s no one here,
It’s time to be a slacker!

With classroom snacks in my left hand,
My pencil in my right,
I got my homework, tipped back my chair,
And then I had a fright.

I did not see the globe fall,
From the very tallest shelf,
But I heard it land, loud and clear,
It fell all by itself!


I got up off my chair,
And put my pencil down.
I looked at the brand new mess,
My face wearing a frown

I looked around the shelf
To see what caused the clatter,
And that is when I heard a glass
Fall off my teacher’s desk and shatter.

I was really getting scared now
For I was not alone,
In an empty classroom; empty school,
After everyone went home.

And then I saw the culprit,
If you thought I was already scared,
You’ve no idea how I felt,
I just stopped and stared.

“Maybe he will not see me,”
I thought inside my head,
“I’ll just scoot out the window.
No, wait! I’ll use the door instead.”

The plan was going smoothly,
I was almost to the door,
When I bumped into a stack of books
That fell loudly too the floor.

The saber tooth stopped sniffing,
He slowly turned around,
His big old teeth nearly dragging
On the cluttered classroom ground.

His paws, they were enormous.
His tail three feet in length.
Whiskers came out from his snout,
His muscles were taut with strength.


As we stood there eye to eye
My heart must have skipped a beat,
I could just make a run for it –
A darting second grade piece of meat…

“It will not work,” I told myself,
“So, plan “B” is in effect.
I’ll stand here and hope he goes
For a different tasty object.”

I closed my eyes, and braced myself
For the bite I knew would come
The saber tooth moved closer
As I stood there feeling numb.

And then, you’ll never believe
What that crazy Saber Tooth did.
He grabbed a book I had knocked down
And chewed on it instead.

All the while I stood there,
A tender second-grade piece of meat.
While that crazy tiger chewed his book,
And me, he did not eat.

When the book was gone he wanted more,
And for what it’s worth,
He found the globe and with a snap
He downed the entire Earth.

I stood rooted to the carpet
Watching him fill his tummy,
The chalkboard erasers, pencils, and glue,
I sure hope it all was yummy.

Then he started on the chairs
That I had not stacked in a line
And within five minutes
Twenty chairs had become nine.


Sick of chair he must have needed
Something sweet to cap off the meal
He darted to the doorway
With me close on his heel.

I’d let him out upon the school,
A mangy saber tooth!
Eating everything he could see
A monster on the loose!

I peeked through the doorway
And tiptoed down the hall
I could not see the saber tooth,
Nor anyone at all…

“I wonder where he’s got to!”
This bizarre hiding game…
SPLAT, SPLISH, CLINK, CRASH
And then the answer came!

“The cafeteria!” I yelled, Turned on the spot and bounded towards the crashing,
“I’ve got to get this mess cleaned up
And stop the tiger’s smashing!’

Skidding to a halt I peered into
The dimly lit lunchroom
To see the saber tooth contently chewing
On the janitor’s favorite broom!

“Nooo,” I squeaked, “you’ve got to stop!
You can’t just eat the school.”
The tiger looked up and found me,
The broom still dripping with drool.

I’ve done it now, he’ll be my doom.
I stood there oh so still,
And if he doesn’t finish me
I’m sure my teacher will.


He took one step closer
He’ll beat me to a pulp!
Two steps, three steps, four, and five
Will he fit me in one gulp?

I squinted my eyes so hard shut
That my ears began to ring
I waited for the moment
Of the sudden sting,

Of hot saber tooth breath,
Of wet saber tooth tongue
Of prickly teeth, and prickly claws
Okay, here it comes…

I stood there still as could be
Waiting for the blow
That never hit, that never came!
My eyes popped, where’d he go?!

The saber tooth tiger had disappeared
I looked all around
Left, right, above, behind,
And then I finally looked down…

What was that, down on the floor?
Waiting by my shoes
I bent down for a better look
What have I got to lose?

A little plastic model.
Orange-ish with black stripes
He looked strangely familiar…
Oh dear, oh boy, oh cripes!

It was the saber tooth tiger.
I thought he’d be much bigger,
But up so close I see that he is just
A silly action figure.


I closed my hand around him,
Started walking towards the door.
I did not feel afraid now
Like I did before.

I brought the tiger down the hall,
And through the classroom door.
I set the tiger on the desk
And looked around some more.

The chairs were not eaten up.
The globe was on the shelf.
The pencils and erasers are there too,
And I said to myself,

“I must have dreamed him up,
The mangy saber tooth.
No tiger runs around
And eats schools while on the loose.”

“What are you doing?!” I heard a yell,
And jumped about a mile:
My teacher’s back! And on her face
She did not have a smile.

“My room looks a disaster.
You homework is not done.
Don’t tell me stories or make up lies
I’ll know if you do, so tell me none.”

“It’s not my fault!” I started to say,
“You see, there was this tiger…”
My voice trailed off, she glared real hard
She thought that I would lie to her!

I blurted it out, the whole shebang;
What happened to me that day –
The globe, the chairs, the janitor’s broom,
“Please let me go away…”


“Yes, you may go home now.
I hope your lesson’s learned.”
My teacher watched me walk to the door
And down the hallway turn.

When I was finally gone my teacher
Let out a little giggle,
She walked over to the desk
And gave the tiger a little wiggle.

“It worked again,” she said to him,
Petting his little plastic body,
“Now another student is too scared
To ever be so naughty!”

She popped him into her pocket,
Looking very pleased.
She pushed her chair, turned out the light,
And gave the tiger a little squeeze…

“You know,” she said quite to herself,
“What some students say…
There is a saber tooth in my classroom,
They found that out one day.”

THE END.





and now a picture, because blog entries are better with pictures...

just some pictures

school days

this week i got a cold, and a teaching contract.  i am the newest member of the central elementary school faculty. the newest member with the runniest nose.   i have 7 students in my (special education) class =) i start in august.

The Littlest Snowball

First page:  Picture of a warm cottage with glowing windows.  A little boy is staring out one of the window at the falling snowflakes (no text on the first page).

The storm had started.  All of the snowflakes had planned their courses carefully.  One snowflake, the Littlest Snowflake looked down at the cottage, warm and glowing inside.  He saw the boy, and the glowing windows.  That was where he was going to land. 

A sudden gust of wind brought more snowflakes than the Littlest Snowflake could count.  Everywhere he looked, the flakes seemed to be bigger, and better, and stronger than the Littlest Snowflake.   They pushed and they shoved. 

Before he knew it, the Littlest Snowflake was miles from the warm cottage, and quickly approaching the ground. 

The Littlest Snowflake landed with a poof on the already snow covered ground.  Other snowflakes landed on every side, and even began to land on top of him!  If he stayed here, he would soon be covered up, and any chance of reaching the warm cottage would be lost.

He began to roll.

And roll.

And roll.

Soon he came to a field of tall grass.  There was something out there.  Maybe it was the warm cottage!  The Little Snowflake slowly began to roll through the grass. 

“Is this what a warm cottage looks like up close,” the Littlest Snowflake thought.  He was not sure. “Excuse me,” he timidly began, “you’re not the warm cottage, are you?  You looked different from the sky.”

The gruff old tractor, for that is what he was, was startled at the voice that seemed to come from nowhere.  When he saw the Littlest Snowflake, he began to laugh.  “Don’t you know anything, you silly Little Snowflake?  You can’t even tell a tractor from a cottage.  I don’t have time for someone so small, like you.” 

 The Littlest Snowflake began to roll away through the grass.  He rolled and rolled leaving the gruff old tractor behind. 

 Soon he came to the edge of the field.  Here was a sight to be seen!  Hundreds of big things; big black and white things, were tearing the grass up, and making terrible noises.  “This is not the warm cottage,” thought the Littlest Snowflake.  But maybe they could help him.  Slowly, he began to roll towards this new curiosity. 

“Excuse me,” he timidly began.  The nearest thing turned her head in surprise. 

 “Moo!” she replied.  The Littlest Snowflake began, “Excuse me, but do you know where the warm cottage is?  The one that I saw from the sky?” 

“Moo, moo, moo,” she laughed, “Why, Little Snowflake, you went and got yourself lost?  You just roll yourself straight on through here.  This is no place for such a little one like you.” 

 The Littlest Snowflake could see why.  He had to do some fancy rolling to get through all those cow legs, for that was what all those things really were; cows. 

 Before long he was through the cows, and had left field of tall grass behind.  The Littlest Snowflake did not know where he was.  All he knew was that there was a long blackish thing cutting across his path.  Roll straight on through, he thought.

 So that is what he did.  Before he got even half way across the blackish thing, a four wheeled machine whizzed behind him.  The Littlest Snowflake bounced with fright.  Then another machine whooshed right in front of him.  The Littlest Snowflake froze in his tracks and looked to his left, then to his right.  Machines as were coming towards him from both sides. 

 As the next machine approached him, the Littlest Snowflake called out, “who are you?!”

 “I’mmm a carrrrr….” Yelled the car.  It was gone before it could tell the Littlest Snowflake anything else.  The Littlest Snowflake worked up his breath to call out to another approaching car, “Where’s the warm cottage?!”

 “Crosssss the roaddddd…” 

 Cross the road?  Road?  The word had a familiar sound to it…

 Yes!  That was it!  “The long black thing must be the road!” Thought the Littlest Snowflake.  He was going the right way.  He looked to his left, then to his right.  He began to roll.  He rolled across the road. 

 He rolled and rolled.  He rolled past trees, and he rolled through rivers. 

 He rolled down hills of powdery white snow.  He rolled and rolled and rolled. 

 And all the while the Littlest Snowflake rolled, he changed.  He grew lumpy.  He grew larger.  He grew bigger and stronger. 

 After a long time of rolling, the Littlest Snowflake came to a town.  The town was full of buildings.  There were big tall ones, and short stumpy ones.  Buildings with letters, and buildings with stairways.   There were buildings with more windows than the Littlest Snowflake could count.  He felt he was getting closer. 

The Littlest Snowflake came to a place in the town where the buildings became fewer.  They were friendlier.  They were cottages. 

 He rolled and rolled to the very end of the town.  Not far off he could see two glowing windows.  He rolled faster than ever.  When he reached the yard, he was suddenly afraid.  This was it.  This was his place in the world.  What if he was too small?  What if he was sent away? 

 A little boy was playing outside in the yard.  He called to the Littlest Snowflake, “why, hello there.”  He smiled.  “Who are you?” 

The Littlest Snowflake looked around.  Could the little boy be talking to him?  “I, I, I, I’m the Littlest Snowflake, and I think this is my home.”  He blurted out. 

The boy laughed.  “Of course it’s your home!  But you are not such a Little Snowflake.”  The Littlest Snowflake looked down at himself.  For the first time he saw the change that had started the minute he first started rolling. 

 He was not so little!  He was not nearly the littlest!  In fact, he was not even a snowflake! 

 “A little snowball like you is just what I need,” said the boy.  “Won’t you stay and live with me?” 

“Yes! Yes! Yes!  Of course I will!”  The Littlest Snowball smiled.  He rolled for the last time towards his home. 

 The boy lifted the Littlest Snowball in his arms, and placed him atop a snow mound where he had been playing.  He wrapped a cozy red scarf around the Littlest Snowball and put a thick woolen cap on his head.  “Now you are really a part of our family.  Welcome home, little snowball.” 

 Last page:  picture of the boy hugging the Little Snowball on his new snowman home (blushing snowcheeks). No text. 

The End.  

fridays are

date nights =)